On Fear and Patience
Ask and you shall receive.
I happen to believe that's true, and chances are, you want to believe it, too. Let me tell you, though, God has a sense of humor. Ask for what you want and you'll get it, but it may not be what you're expecting.
I've been scarce the past few weeks because we have had major work done on our house. It has challenged me on so many levels. I never thought I'd learn so much from the experience. I'll be honest, I hoped I'd be able to pop out some short, peppy motivating post from it… but what it taught me is not nearly so pretty.
When you create your own business, you have to face fear. It takes facing and conquering your fear to strike out on your own. I've prided myself on being pretty brave (and yeah, I've even been a little high and mighty about it). But this renovation left me quaking in ways I never expected.
First, it was expensive. It had to be done… removing the wallpaper from our living room revealed plaster riddled with holes. It was bad, and more than we could take on. We had to hire someone, and now that it's done, it looks amazing. But it was really, really expensive.
We also had a lot of other bills come due around the same time: outside lessons for the kids, CSA dues, etc.
Fear found me. I won't even lie, it's still not gone. With fear comes feeling inadequate, like I'm not doing enough.
So I've asked for abundance. I've asked for wisdom in business. And facing this fear of all these bills all at once has certainly brought me to my knees wondering, why, when I ask for abundance, when we're committed to being free of personal debt, are all of these things coming at once? Why doesn't my business seem to be keeping up with it?
What Fear Taught Me
But the fear that came brought in with it reflection (I was, in fact, blessed – it didn't bring paralysis). My first instinct was to run out and buy a course that would teach me how to “make X dollars in Y hours.”
Then I started reflecting on me… and thinking. I have other fears. Fears of scaling. My business is solid. It makes money. It needs to scale up, though. I can't do it all. But I'm scared. Terrified. How can I let somebody else handle something?
So I'm scared – scared of stepping out and growing my business. I still view money with a fear mindset. I'm also scared of disapproval. It has taken a lot to let go of that in business, and I still face it for some choices (like outsourcing). I'm scared of disapproval for choices in my personal life. I'm working through those fears, doing what I know is right despite what others think.
So I asked for abundance, and I got slammed into a situation where I got to face my ugly, ugly fears. What about you? When you ask for something, what is life giving you?
I believe it's giving me a chance to give up. To say life is pushing me around and I'm not going to try and push up and over. It's throwing in a Dip (a la Seth Godin) and the question is… do you push through the Dip and up to success, or do you quit and whine?
It's all true with patience, too. Do you ask for patience? If you don't, wait until you have kids 😉
But this experience has taken so much patience. Every time I ask for patience, I get a huge situation to deal with that requires patience. It's as if God is sitting up there laughing that he gave me a “trial by fire.”
I've had to deal with a lot of different people and a lot of situations over the past few weeks. Patience has been required to a huge degree.
But it brought with it other things. I'm an introvert, but I had to speak up. I had to be authoritative. I had to call, push, and make things happen. I had to serve as a middle-man, too (which I really hate), to communicate my husband's wishes to the contractors.
Do you have experiences like this in your life? Somebody who really makes your blood boil? How did you handle it? Do you take it for the opportunity to improve yourself? Or do you simply whine (or yell) about the person?
I realized I needed to use it to improve my ability to handle stressful situations, and to deal with people in a calm manner.
By The Way
If you've got kids, let me give you a tip. Handle situations that come up with them right away. Don't let it fester. You don't want to be a bad parent. You don't want to upset your kids. But it will be a lot worse 15 minutes from now when you're really ticked off… or maybe 2 hours from now. Take care of it, now.
But that really applies to everything in your life, right? There are some things you can let sit. But generally, you should take care of situations when they arrive.
Get over yourself. Get over your fears. Ramp up the patience. Do what you need to do — right now — in your family, in your business, in your life.
And remember, ask and you will receive. Just be careful what you wish for. You may be surprised with what you get.